Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

by highand45

Just because for some Chuck Norris is well, Chuck Norris. And for others their all time material-arts-dragonbal-samurai-ninja-action-hero. But one way or another, these quotes are hilarious.
thanks to and Robin for noticing ;)

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time. 

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch a 24-episode
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he’d kick your ass.